Good moms deserve great sex.

As a perinatal therapy practice, all of our clients are experiencing changes, and sometimes challenges, to their sexual wellness. Maybe you’re timing sex to try to get pregnant (or not), or your sex drive is different after months of trying to conceive, or after experiencing a pregnancy or baby loss. Sex might different since giving birth, since a perineal tear or a c-section scar? Perhaps you’re thinking back to the sex drive and desire you used to have and longing for what you used to have. … or maybe you’re finding your desires and interests have evolved and changed.

So much of the work we do here is with people who have a lot going on with their vulvas, vaginas [and other parts!] and we are here to support you and your sexual wellness.

What is sexual health?

Braun-Harvey’s Sexual Health Principles outlines that for sex to be healthy it should be

• Consensual- voluntary and cooperative, everyone involved wants to be there!

• Non-Exploitative- no power dynamics at play, no controlling through sex

• Honest - being truthful all around, about desire, willingness, what will happen and what won’t

• Shared values- everyone involved should be on the same page about the meaning of sexual acts, and their intentions

• Mutual pleasure- all sexual activity should feel good to everyone involved. Healthy sex is not for one-sided pleasure, and absence of pain does not equal pleasure, let’s raise that bar!

• Protection from STI’s and unintended pregnancy- Healthy sex includes a contraception and health plan, open honest discussion about STI risk, and preventive sexual healthcare for all involved

  The World Health Organization also adds that Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.” (WHO, 2006)

How is sex impacted by pregnancy & birth?

Growing a family can present a sexual health conundrum because people working to grow a family may need to time sex around fertility windows, undergo invasive pelvic care and procedures, engage in sexual acts when they otherwise wouldn’t, or life circumstances [ahem, Stage 5 Clinger Baby!] lead to a desire discrepancy between partners. Desire Discrepancy is a term used to describe a difference in sexual desire within a sexual relationship. One partner may want sex more often, one partner may feel more exhausted, physically uncomfortable, and/or touched out than the other, hormones may be influencing one partner more than the other. Sleep may be more desirable than sexual pleasure in the postpartum, and at times may be more needed!

Additionally, birth traumas, whether physical or psychological, can impact sexual health. It’s not uncommon to have decreased desire to be seen and touched intimately after pelvic trauma, things feel different, what used to be pleasurable may now be painful, you might be left wondering “whose body is this!? will it ever feel good again? I don’t even know what I want in the bedroom!”

Sometimes families get the most sleep by cosleeping or room-sharing, and then the bed is occupied and the grownups are feeling defeated or discouraged- we can problem solve how to keep things spicy when little ones are off to bed.

You deserve amazing sex, sex that feels good, that is satisfying to you and your partner, and that helps you connect physically and emotionally. You deserve pleasurable pain-free (unless that’s hot, we can talk about that, too!) and enjoyable for all.